The correct collective noun for poets

30 Sep

Haven’t put any poems on here for a while. This is partly because I have almost completely given up writing poetry. But a post by Lloyd Robson about collective nouns reminded me of a list poem of mine which itself was based on a list poem of Lloyd’s about types of lip. Also below is another even older poem, also inspired by Lloyd.

A Gas Rebate of Poets

A pottering of poets
A waxing of poets
A waning of poets
A pub of poets
A piss up of poets
A blathering of poets
A profundity of poets
A profanity
A despairing of poets
A falling over drunk of poets
A garble of poets
An awesomeness of poets
A sharp pencil case of poets
A rhythm of poets
A reason of poets
A blank sheet of poets
A square peg of poets
A bi-polar of poets
A perversion of poets
A puzzle of poets
A Yeates full of poets
A bed of poets
A performance of poets
A Mab Jones of poets
A page of poets
A Peter Finch of poets
A Polski Schlep of poets
A branston pickle of poets
A police box of poets
A tardis of poets
A Doctor Who’s dad of poets
A Ken Dodd’s dad’s dog’s dead of poets
A Clark’s pie of poets
A Topher of poets
A facebook of poets
A job centre of poets
A Primark of poets
A sunny day of poets
A lonely cloud of poets
A didn’t know it of poets
A poverty stricken country of poets
A war-torn country of poets
A council tax bill of poets
A gas rebate of poets
A J Brookes of poets
A gas rebate of poets
A Sigfreed Sassoon of poets
A couldn’t give a dicky bird of poets
A Mychenchleth of poets
A snow capped mountain of poets
A mixed bag of poets
A mixed review of poets
A pick’n’mix of poets
A closed down Woolworths of poets
A plaid shirt of poets
A Plaid Cymru of poets
A knock at the bedroom window of poets
A can’t get out of bed of poets
A surprise of poets
A placenta of poets
A feminist of poets
A Gemma June Howell of poets
A Victor Lewis Smith of poets
A Poet’s Corner of poets
A Royal Oak of poets
A returned MBE of poets
An odd one out of poets
A herded cat of poets
A Lloyd Robson of poets
An arse over tit over poets
A taxed pasty of poets
A gas rebate of poets

As you see, I think we can safely conclude that, of all the possible options, A gas rebate of poets is the most credible option, purely due to the fact that it is the option repeated most in the above poem. I welcome other credible options, although reserve the right to reject them all, as is the way with anyone who has ever put a point across on facebook, and although here at fiskbook, we do pride ourselves on being better than facebook in a number of ways, in this particular instance, I am opting for the “I will not alter my perspective regardless of what you say” approach.

Here is the older poem, also based on Lloyd’s lips poems (the title of which I regret I do not recall):

Poem in Respect of Lloyd Robson

I’ve got me political poems
me apolitical poems
me apocalyptical poems
me let’s blow the world up poems
me pacifistic poems

I’ve got me girlfriend poems
me future wife poems
me struggle in life poems
me reach for the bread knife
poems

I’ve got me MI5 poems
me MI6 poems
me Howard Marks poems
me Karl Marx poems
me class poems
me classy poems
me class A poems

I’ve got me drugs poems
me thugs poems
me trying to be hard poems
me really I’m just sad poems
me this one’ll tease ’em poems
me this one’ll please ’em poems
me shock poems
me horror poems
me look at the life I’ve led
poems
me things I’d like to have said
poems
me philosophical poems

I’ve got me God poems
me Christmas poems
me poet for all seasons poems
me football poems
me blue army poems

I’ve got me I hate Swansea poems
me anti-Oasis poems
me Stone Roses poems
me musical poems
me futurist poems
me looking back to the past
poems
me good old fashioned poems

I’ve got me rhyming poems
me timing poems
me it’s about time poems
me it’s about Spider poems
me porn poems
me scornful poems
me old school poems, etc.

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