Nobody really knew why
But there was a coathanger shortage –
Maybe there was a strike somewhere or something.
People started wishing they’d said, “Yes”
When asked, “Would you like the hanger?”
When buying a shirt. They actually knew
At the time that they needed the hanger –
But it seemed like a silly thing to admit
That owning the coathanger was almost
As important as owning the shirt –
The thing they were paying for.
“Yes, I’d like the hanger, in fact –
I need the hanger – I’m always short of
Coathangers.” Now, they really needed them.
Coathangers had never been
The sort of items people bought as separate items –
Now people couldn’t get enough of them,
People had always known where you could get them –
Apparently, they just give them away in charity shops,
But still, till now, you wouldn’t just go to a shop
And say, “Can I have some coathangers please?”
You knew a mate who was going to buy
Charity Xmas cards, so you asked them,
“Could you get us some coat hangers while you’re
there?”, but of course, they forgot.
You’d seen some nice new ones in Ikea –
Not exactly expensive, but come on, would
You have paid for coathangers?
Now though, it had got to the stage
Where you were secretly carrying a bag
Of them out from your parents’ house
Which you’d found in the loft while
Looking for something else, and your
Mum’s stopping you – “Can I just have
A couple of those?” You offer 4,
And she says, “I only need a couple,
Well, ok, I’ll have 3”.
That’s how desperate people have become
For coathangers these days.